Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Dating an Indian Man

Amongst desis, I'm sure this topic has come up more than once a month:
Your Guide to Dating An Indian (via Sepia Mutiny)

This girl (or woman) clearly has issues with Indian guys. It'll be interesting to see what else comes of this. She says she's writing a book (or two) on the matter so that may mean the blog doesn't get updated much. A couple of notes about the potential for the book:
  • Nothing new can be added to this topic other than what's been re-hashed a million times amongst desis. That doesn't mean it wouldn't sell, just that most people aren't gonna get anything new out it.

  • Of course, one could argue that Sex and the City provided nothing new, but the reality is that the show was so popular because of the way it was written and the way it did things, even if the topics had been re-hashed a million times. That said, this girl better find an editor because even my amateur ass can find lots of problems with the writing.

My thoughts on the topic of dating Indians? Obviously both sides exaggerate and focus in on specific things that aren't really that common. This type of debate can never be won by telling the exact truth. So in that sense, both sides are at fault. Since I've been married for 3 years it's easier to "look from afar" and laugh at this. Yes, Indian men, in general, are guilty of many of these things (some in higher doses than others). However, Indian women are equally guilty of blaming their male counterparts for all their relationship woes when many of them need to spend a lot more time looking inwards.

How's that for being nice about calling Indian men doofuses and Indian women overly demanding and mis-guided :)

Ok now...please please please leave me some comments. I feel neglected when you people read but don't leave your thoughts. This is a funny enough topic that we can start some controversy here!


Anonymous said...

As a woman, I can say we've all been that Indian woman, however, as you age, reality sets in and you get a little wiser. You begin to separate the important things from the fluff.

Sandhya said...

Hey Jigar, I TOTALLY AGREE. Indian girls are NOTHING to brag about. If I were a guy I would think twice before dating an indian girl. Most of them are spoiled, cant think outside the box, despite the ideal cant cook, are EXTREMELY bossy, and like to have it their way all the time.

Anonymous said...

How's this for irony? While my wife rags all over Indian women, I will actually defend the Indian-male-bashing blogger. What the blogger says is true to a certain degree, and I think it's magnified in comparison to other men in the US because most of them are taught to go after the girl and sweep her off her feet. That means dressing well, good hygiene, knowing how to treat a woman, romancing her, making her feel special, etc. Indian men are not taught this, no matter what Bollywood films portray. In Indian men's real lives, their parents likely had an arranged marriage and their moms likely did everything for them. Dating is a concept their elders don't comprehend. Relationships are looked at from a practical standpoint, not an emotional one.

Many Indian women get frustrated with us Indian men and can't help comparing in an inferior way to American men. Understandable, but they should also recognize the environment we were raised in, even if we grew up in the US. The problem is most Indians are afraid to challenge their parents' views, even if they are views from a different place and much earlier time. By the way I am not excluding myself, or Indian women, from this criticism.


Atul said...

I agree with you Jigar -- this girl has issues. My first reaction after reading it was of anger. But, once I stepped away, I realized she has some valid points. Although I don't appreciate the sweeping generalizations.

However, she clearly has some work to do before she can write a book on this! No guy (Indian or non) will go and buy a book that basically tells him that he's an ass and gives him a list of things he should be doing to de-ass himself. Can you even imagine what would happen if some guy tried to tell a girl that she had issues and here are the things she should be doing? No dude would dare because he knows he wouldn't live to tell the tale! I'm curious as to what she will come up with when it comes to criticizing Indian women ...

Jigar said...

Haha....de-assing. I think I need to post again with suggestions about how Indian guys can de-ass themselves and how Indian girls can de-fluff themselves...I'll save my further comments for the regular post :)

ooh lala said...

This girl must either hate all indan men or she's just gone koo koo!! i won't disagree that indian men can be horrible sometimes, but not all indian guys are like that. And as far as her book on how to date indian guys and girls, she needs to come out of her stone age shell and face reality. Now that's what i call a desi BIMBO!!

CoffeeFreak said...

Um, if she is going to write a book she needs to learn to spell first :)
I don't want to find out what kind of whackjobs she's been dating but I suspect she goes for fluff before substance... the kind that are players, screw around, and then dump people to go to India to find the virgins. You can tell she's had a traumatic experience.