Monday, November 03, 2008

A Time of Reckoning


Trying to get back into this blogging thing, the topic which has most been on my mind has, of course, been politics and tomorrow's election. A friend and I were talking last night about a variety of things related to the election.

Some of the key things we both already agreed upon were:
1) An election is not the start, it's not the end. It's just a beginning for much more.
2) The GOP needs some serious introspection about the kind of politics its leaders support & really, the kind of leadership its leaders show

More on this...

An election is just a beginning...the funny thing is that both my friend and I saw an awesome Starbucks ad which ended up offering a free cup of coffee for all voters. But the message was really, really, REALLY key. Got that? It's about the most important message any voter should take away from this election season...

An Election is just a moment in time. Yes, it's a chance to make your voice heard. But November 4th shouldn't be the first time your voice is heard. And it certainly shouldn't be the last time your voice is heard. It's just a moment in time. And the real work happens in between elections. People, we can't just exit the voting booths on Tuesday and smile at ourselves for a job well-done. We need to realize that the real work has not yet even started.

Here's the ad in case you're interested:


On the second point, this is actually what my friend and I spent more time talking about. It was similar to a conversation we had during the last big election cycle in India. At that time, we both agreed that the party which had been in control in India and had spent it's time in power to create hatred & incite racism & fundamentalism needed to look upon itself. The leaders needed to think about what devastation they had wreaked upon the soul of Indian democracy. They would need to re-think their method of leadership and the reasons there was so much wrong with it. Not surprisingly, my friend and I saw many, many connections between the BJP party in India and the GOP party in the US.

The really interesting thing is that the GOP seems to be in that spot now. It's time for introspection. Their time of reckoning has arrived. Even if the GOP somehow manages to keep some sort of power, John McCain will have some serious soul searching to do. As the leader of his party (in name only, since there are obviously many other people in the role of king maker), he needs to think about what he has allowed to happen in his name just to win a campaign. Moreover, the leaders of the party need to come to terms with the fact that they have encouraged this season of hatred (seriously, can you imagine openly calling for the murder of the other parties candidate?!) and self-service (I've lost count of the number of instances where "it's only wrong if the other guy does it" is the theme for the day). Additionally, and really critically, the party needs to move away from this idea that being an idiot and ignoring any facts that don't support your guy or your side is okay. And let's be frank here...the great masses who support any party are just followers. They can be lead any where, including off a cliff. This stands true for conservative as well as liberal followers. Sheep are sheep no matter the color. But just like the BJP, the GOP has taken some latent tendencies and stoked those embers into full blooded fear (of Muslims & Arabs) and hatred (of Communists and anyone that's different).

The fact of the matter is that any analysis of the BJP's leadership and the havoc they wreaked on the Indian sub-continent could very easily re-purposed to describe what the GOP have done here in America.

So my friend and I wondered why the BJP had never really done any introspecting after their resounding fall from power. I tried to explain it away talking about the multi-party system in India which require the Indian National Congress to create a coalition just to stay in power and that the BJP could just lie in wait and not really have to repent for their sins.

But we still thought that the GOP would have to re-think things after Tuesday.

No. Matter. What. Their day of reckoning had come.

So this morning I was ready to post about how a win for Barack Obama would not just be wonderful news because of his leadership, but also because it would force the GOP to spend some time thinking about the monster they have created.

And then I read Paul Krugman's opinion piece in today's NY Times. And it's alarming. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Just a quick bite from his piece:
You might think, perhaps hope, that Republicans will engage in some soul-searching, that they’ll ask themselves whether and how they lost touch with the national mainstream. But my prediction is that this won’t happen any time soon.

Instead, the Republican rump, the party that’s left after the election, will be the party that attends Sarah Palin’s rallies, where crowds chant “Vote McCain, not Hussein!” It will be the party of Saxby Chambliss, the senator from Georgia, who, observing large-scale early voting by African-Americans, warns his supporters that “the other folks are voting.” It will be the party that harbors menacing fantasies about Barack Obama’s Marxist — or was that Islamic? — roots.


Despite my concerns about what Mr. Krugman has said, I hope to god that my anxiety about who wins tomorrow amount to a lot of worrying over nothing. And beyond that, I hope that leaders across the board realize what we have in front of us...a great opportunity for change and for moving forward.

Here's to the importance of tomorrow's election day.

And here's to the reckoning that we all need to confront.

If we care enough about the leader of this country, we need to care enough about the cliff we're about to jump off without some serious thought.

Pricing of "The Same Thing"


Wow, a post that's not focused on Sophia!

This post may be something that my B-school friends can help me understand....

We were in Target yesterday getting various sundries and I went to grab some toothpaste. Lately, I've been picking up this Crest toothpaste with Scope. Not because I think it cleans my teeth any better, but simply because it tastes better. In my hunt to find that specific tube, I realized that there was a really wide variation in pricing even amongst the same brand.

I'm not talking about a different "kind" of toothpaste, I'm talking about the same paste that's in a tube. There's that gel stuff which comes in a little clear plastic container which stands up on its own. But I'm talking about the basic toothpaste.

So here's what I noticed...the really basic "no name" Crest & Colgate cost much less than all the other stuff. That's not surprising since those basic types have been around forever. But what about all those variations of whitening and mouthwash/minty fresh types? I figured they'd cost a bit more than the plain jane stuff, but all basically be in the same range.

But it turns out they all cost different amounts. The Crest with Scope costs a dollar more than Crest minty whitening stuff which looks and tastes almost the same. Why is that?

A dollar isn't really all that much in the grand scheme of things, but think of it this way...the Crest with Scope costs 33% more than Crest Whitening and 100% more than the plain-jane Crest!

Looking at it that way, I realized I didn't care enough about the Scope-i-ness so I just picked up the minty whitening version and I'm perfectly happy with that. I'd rather spend that buck on fries or coffee.

So B-school peeps...please explain to me how American consumers are put into this position? I doubt most people even realize there's this huge range in pricing for something as simple as toothpaste. I have my own thoughts and it pretty much revolves about marketing, shiny/new packaging, and general failure on the consumer's part to check prices, but man, what a surprise to see this wide range.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

This is HER time

One other thing I completely forgot to mention in my post yesterday was something that has NEVER come to my mind before last night. Barack Obama had his 30 minute ad on many channels last night and I was sure to watch it. Afterwards, I updated my status on Facebook to the following:
Jigar is so glad he watched Obama's ad..... it brought chills to my spine.... THIS is our time.... THIS is MY PRESIDENT.


Well, I kept it simple in my status, but there was a much bigger reason I just HAD to post on facebook about that...

In addition to bringing chills to my spine, last night Obama brought mist to my eyes. Not because of what he means to me, but because of what he means to Sophia. There are, of course, many inspirational leaders, none more inspiring than Gandhi. And I appreciate what they have to say about improving the future. But last night was the first time that upon hearing such a leader, I looked the future in the eyes....

And she smiled back at me.


:)

The last time I felt anything like this kind of inspiration from a leader was when Bill Clinton stood for the future. At the time, as a college student, it was obvious to me that the guy was exactly what we needed. It was a very personal thing and it brought about a huge sense of pride.

Well, Obama has provided much of the same type of pride & inspiration and I just can't tell you how much this man needs to be our president. However, while watching his ad, in all its sappiness, I just couldn't help looking down at Sophia in her swing.

And for the absolute first time in my life, I connected the dots between the hazy idea of "THE FUTURE" and the clear brown eyes of my daughter. The future, in my mind, has always been about improving my life or our lives.

But never has it been about HER life.

I realized that this moment is not mine. It's not our's. It's HER'S.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

6 months

Wow...it's my sweetheart's half-birthday today and what a half-year it has been. I've actually been thinking about this post for a few days now...not so much about the exact words which I would write, but more thinking about all the wonderful things we've seen in her short life.

I still remember the tears that came to my eyes as the doctor cut her umbilical cord. I haven't cried so many happy tears since...I don't know when.

They say men don't cry or they don't this or that, but just to clarify...DADs are exempt from all that. Whether it's making silly faces and sounds since they make Sophia laugh, or waddling along and singing with her in her baby carrier, Sophia's makes all our inhibitions disappear.

And sometimes, I just have to stop and watch. I know Radha does the same thing. We'll just watch her. There's the joy that she's our daughter and that we're her parents. But there's the amazement at what she's doing and discovering. Lately, we've both caught her just staring at her hands or feet and flexing her fingers and toes. Looking at her face, it's clear that she's doing something as ordinary as practicing her movements. But moreover, she's discovering more and more of her world. Those brain cells of hers are putting two and two together and realizing that she can indeed control her fingers and reach for her toys (or Junior's ears).

The interections with the dogs are one of the latest things we love to watch and encourage. When Junior will allow it, we'll sit Sophia on Junior's back and just let her play with his fur and grab his ears. When Buddy's calm enough, we'll let him sniff and give light licks to Sophia's fingers and cheeks.

And while everyday life and the stresses that come with it take their toll, all of that fades into nothingness when Sophia's in my arms. It's the most amazing thing and these are the moments I hope to remember and cherish forever.

Happy Half Birthday Bachu!



Sunday, September 07, 2008

In a Blink


An unbelievable 3 months have passed since I last wrote about life and I must say, it's well past time to get back on here. When I last wrote, Sophia was still a tiny thing and didn't really react much to us or the things around her. She just needed to be loved. In the 3+ months since then, Sophia has changed and grown so much.

Yet, Radha and I still pause every once in a while in amazement at our daughter. Yes, we're parents. Yes, we still smile ear to ear when we think about it.


While I can't speak for Radha, some of the things I'll always remember about these first 4+ months of Sophia's life aren't singular events. They aren't one time things. They're things which are now daily parts of our lives.

Perhaps my favorite part of the day is the first moment of Sophia's day. When she wakes up and is blinking away her dreams. We'll be sitting there waiting for her to see us. We'll be sitting there waiting for her sweet smile. We'll be sitting there waiting to wish her a good morning and a brand new welcome to her world.

One of the daily rituals which I just love and look forward to are Sophia's baths. As many of our friend know, rather than bathe Sophia in a baby tub, I just take her into the shower with me and hold her in my arms while I soap her up and rinse her down. These showers started when she had a cold and needed the steam to help clear her breathing. And from there, it's been something we've done everyday. For me, it's the one time during the day when it's just daddy and daughter. And every time I step into the shower with her, I've come to appreciate the moment for what it is. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to do this with her. She'll get bigger and squirm around more than would be safe. And maybe her mommy will want to give her a bath too :) In the meantime, I baby talk to her and sing to her during the few minutes of the day when it's just me and her. And I love it!

For every week that passes, there's something else which leads us to proclaim that Sophia is a big girl. Just in the past week, she's started eating solid food. She loves the rice cereal she's getting and gobbles it up like there's no tomorrow. The week before that, she found her feet and decided she likes how they taste.

Each of these things were a "first" and we couldn't help but talk about them. But they've now become commonplace things for us. If nothing else, this blog post will help us remember these moments many years from now.

I'll end this post with some thoughts for the future...we're in Singapore right now visiting Radha's family. While her family has seen her grow so much in just 2 weeks here, they won't be seeing Sophia again for quite some time. I can't imagine the changes and the progress that we will experience with Sophia before we see Radha's family again. It's something I look forward to and it's something I hope to track over time.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Back, But Not the Same

I'm back to work today...sort of getting back to normal life. Not surprisingly, things are so different. Priorities have shifted. My daily schedule & routine have changed. And I'm not sure what more will change in the coming days & weeks.

As I expected, my daily life has changed quite a bit. I know it'll change a lot more now that I'm back to work and eventually when my parents and Radha's parents go back to their regular lives. Having them around to help and enjoy with the little one has allowed us to be sort of in la-la land where we haven't had to cook & clean and keep an eye on Sophia 24 hrs a day. Now, step by step, we'll find out what it really means to be parents.

So the most interesting thing I've noticed with this whole parenthood thing is how my mental state has really changed in regards to loved ones. Well, let's not say that's it's changed...it's just become more evident and obvious. I'm finding that I think so much more about the value of my loved ones and what a devastation it would be if they were not in my life.

And it manifests itself in really odd ways. Typical example: I finally watched "I Am Legend" If you haven't seen it, Will Smith plays the "last" guy on earth after a man-made virus hits the earth. He's got his dog with him as his only companion. Anyone that knows me knows that I'm a dog lover through and through. And while watching "I Am Legend" I found myself caring more about the german shepherd than I cared about Will Smith. The dog ran into a dark warehouse and all I could think about was how heartbreaking it would be when (not if) the dog got hurt or died. The obvious next thought was about my dogs.

And when it's late at night, I can't help but look over at my sleeping daughter & wife and what they mean to me. This little one is so new to this world, but has already become such a huge part of our lives. And Radha is now, not just my wife, but a wonderful mother who does everything in her power to ensure for Sophia's well being. It's only in those moments that I realize things will never be the same again.

Nor do I want them to be.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Wake Up!


Sophia is now 12 days old and man have the hours and days flown by. Each day comes to an end before we even realize it. The biggest thing to note is the sleep (and lack there of)

Not surprisingly, we're getting a lot less sleep than we used to. Apparently I look a LOT more tired than I feel, but given that I'm only sleeping about 4 hours a night, I'm sure this will catch up with me soon. I'm not a daytime napper, so I haven't been able to take time out during the day and just go to sleep. I've had lots of opportunity to do that since we have lots of help at home, but when I've tried to nap, I just lay there wondering when I'll finally fall asleep.

So for now, I try to get other things done and help out Radha as much as possible. There have been several occasions though where I'll just fall asleep while sitting in bed.

But, like I said, it's nothing unexpected.

The somewhat unexpected part has been just how much this little one LOVES to sleep! We've got 2 dogs, grandmothers blending and cooking away, gardeners with lawnmowers, Laker games, etc, etc...you name it, and this girl just seems to sleep right through it all. We've been trying to get her on a more manageable sleep pattern where she's up more in the day time rather than night time, but we can't seem to wake her up! We've taken off her socks, put wet washcloths on her feet, tickled her (all recommended by our pediatrician, BTW), but when this girl wants to sleep, there's nothing getting in the way of her and a few ZZZZ's

Oh well, I guess it's just a small thing in the grand scheme of things. It's still a wonder and joy to be a father and I'm just taking it all in and trying to lock each moment away in a corner of my brain.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Memories

I was going to start this post talking about "firsts" that I'll always remember...I fed my daughter for the first time yesterday...I noticed she has brownish eyes like her mother...I watched as two grandmothers played with their little bundle of joy...we took our sweetheart out for her first stroller ride to the doctor. Not surprisingly, most of these moments would just pass by if we didn't pause to cherish them.
And pausing is what allowed me to realize that these are all memories. Things are moving so quickly, it's hard to comprehend that just 5 mornings ago I wasn't a father. But it's just as crazy to think that we've had 5 days of "firsts" and 5 days of memories made.

I already feel like a pro at diaper changing, swaddling, and rocking the baby to sleep. And as I stop to think about it, I just find it amazing that we've stepped into this role and everyday in our lives will be changed in little ways and big ways.

Friday, May 02, 2008

Junior & Buddy & Baby make 3

One of the common questions we've been getting now that the baby's home is how we're handling the dogs. Most people don't have two golden retrievers at home to welcome home baby so it's not surprising. And considering most Indians don't have dogs period, Radha and I have been expecting questions on this matter.

Safe to say, it's been pretty much what we thought it would be. Our guys have been alternately curious or disinterested or even a bit depressed.

Before we brought the baby home, I actually brought her first hat home for the dogs to smell. They immediately smelled something new and sniffed down the hat as well as my jeans.

When we brought the baby home, I think getting a feel for the smell in advance helped since they didn't go crazy like they sometimes do when we've been away from the house for more than a day. Since then, the guys have tended to come over to see what's going on with the baby, but then walk away after getting a couple of sniffs. When she's sleeping in the bassinet, they immediately come over and get a couple of sniffs but then they go chill out in their usual spots.

The only wierd thing happened this morning when Buddy (the younger, more playful dog) came into the room when the baby was crying like mad as we changed her clothes. All of a sudden Buddy gave a really concerned whine/growl which is something he usually only does when he sees something he wants to check out more closely (like a squirrel or bird). And that was it. Back to normal.

Not to say we're unconcerned. Even the best trained dogs can do things unexpectedly and wreak havoc. So we're watching them closely and making sure they still get their usual dose of love and know that they're still very much a part of our family.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Cluster F*ing

One of the first things I realized as we traversed down the journey towards parenthood is that the details of reality are quite different than the generalities I've heard.

An example during pregnancy is the amount that the baby moves while inside mommy's tummy. I thought it would be some movement which could be seen, but our baby was like an alien! After about the 6th month, we could make out specific body parts as the baby was moving inside mommy. Crazy!

So what does this have to do with Cluster F*ing?

Well, I'm talking about Cluster Feeding. Even when we took baby care classes, we never heard about this, and man, is it exhausting! They say that a newborn will need to eat very frequently and new parents just can't get enough rest. That is definitely true, but we never knew about what the nurses call cluster feeding where the baby just needs to eat constantly for hours on end. We're talking about non-stop suckling...take the baby away from her food and she immediately starts crying.

After a while, we got a bit worried since nothing seemed to console this child. But after the nurse explained this all to us, we just had to deal with it despite the fact that both of us were falling asleep while sitting on the bed watching the baby feed.

Anyways, we're back home today and getting settled into the lives of new parents. The hours are just a blur right now, but every moment that we get to spend with our child makes up for any of the stress and exhaustion.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Flying


They say your life changes once you have a child. Obviously, that's true, but so far, things are a little bit different than I had imagined the first day as a father....

Of course we're tired...getting only a few hours of sleep ensures that every new parent will be tired. But this first day hasn't been the mind-numbing day I thought it would be. I thought we'd be worrying about Sophia every moment whether we're awake or napping, but that hasn't been the case. As it turns out, newborns tend to sleep a lot in their first few days. We've certainly been keeping our eyes and minds on her all day, but we realized that we could talk, laugh, and even have visitors without too much trouble. The nurses here at Lucile Packard also make life so much easier. Besides great tips and advice, they also do their best to make the day as easy as possible for us. Whether it be monitoring Sophia to allow us 3 hours of sleep or changing her diapers for us while we relax a bit, they've made this first day oh so much better than expected.

The days ahead will be very different, I'm sure. We're going home tomorrow morning. No more nurses. Two dogs. And most significantly, two sets of grandparents! More on that as we get there.

In the meantime, I can't believe how fast time is already flying. I've got a 1 day old!

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Finally!

And so it's finally happened! I'm a daddy!

At 5:28pm PT today, the emotions pent up for so long just burst out as I saw my daughter come into this world. I saw how hard my wife had worked to give birth. I saw the doctor looking her over and cutting the umbilical cord, making my daughter a separate being. And the emtions just couldn't be held back longer. I found myself crying at this beautiful sight. I leaned over and hugged my wife and told her to look over at our daughter.

10 fingers. 10 toes. A full head of hair. And inquisitive eyes that looked us over, surely trying to match the new faces with the familiar voices which she had heard from inside the womb. As any parent would say, our child is perfect in every way :)

And so it goes. We're parents now. It's still sinking in, but we can't wait to discover what it means to be parents and to be responsible for our little one.

Counting Up

For nine months now, we've been counting *down*, but for the last 12 hours, we've been counting *up*. We came into the hospital last night around 12:30 for our appointment to induce labor. With the baby being one week overdue, we had scheduled a time to being the labor process.

It took a while to get checked in...we only got to our labor/delivery room at 1am. And after all of the questions and checks, it was closer to 2am. The good thing is Radha was already more than in the morning. So we skipped the drug meant to soften up the cervix and went right to the one which induces contractions. Even so, it was 3:45am before Radha was given the IV drip with the drugs.

We both got a couple of hours of much needed sleep and started the morning off bright and early at 6:30 with more checks. Things proceeded quite quickly from there. Before we knew it, the anesthesiologists came in for the epidural and Radha was 6cm dilated.

So we've now been in the hospital for 12 1/2 hours slowly counting up. The goal is 10cm dilated and then Radha can start pushing.

For the first time in a while, I'm actually feeling a bit nervous. So is Radha. We've been anxious for quite some time, especially since the due date was a week ago. But only as this "count up" is getting more intense are we getting nervous. I'm sure it's something every first time parent goes through. In my fitful sleep, of all things, I dreamt about the baby's first encounter with our dogs, Junior & Buddy. Strange how anxiousness about being good parents isn't coming to the fore. I think I dreamt about the dogs since the nurse told us about a good way to get them acclimated to the baby's smell. After the birth, I'll be taking the baby's newborn cap home and let the boy's sniff to their heart's content. I'm really looking forward to being a big family.

In the meantime, I'm still counting up.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Ready

I've been meaning to write for a long time. Not surprisingly, I put other things ahead of posting to this blog. But now I'm ready...


I'm sitting here in my office waiting to go to hospital with my wife. After nine months, neither of us want to wait any longer to finally welcome our baby into this world. I plan to post words and photos much more frequently now and this is just the start of a new stage in our lives that I'll be doing my best to document.

Some of the things I'm looking forward to...

Firsts...
- Seeing my wife smile at our child for the first time
- Holding my baby in my arms for the first time
- Having my baby sleep on my chest for the first time
- Pausing and taking it all in for the first time

And so here's I'm pausing as the last year has flown by us. It's been a long year and we can't wait for what lies ahead.