Back, But Not the Same

I'm back to work today...sort of getting back to normal life. Not surprisingly, things are so different. Priorities have shifted. My daily schedule & routine have changed. And I'm not sure what more will change in the coming days & weeks.

As I expected, my daily life has changed quite a bit. I know it'll change a lot more now that I'm back to work and eventually when my parents and Radha's parents go back to their regular lives. Having them around to help and enjoy with the little one has allowed us to be sort of in la-la land where we haven't had to cook & clean and keep an eye on Sophia 24 hrs a day. Now, step by step, we'll find out what it really means to be parents.

So the most interesting thing I've noticed with this whole parenthood thing is how my mental state has really changed in regards to loved ones. Well, let's not say that's it's changed...it's just become more evident and obvious. I'm finding that I think so much more about the value of my loved ones and what a devastation it would be if they were not in my life.

And it manifests itself in really odd ways. Typical example: I finally watched "I Am Legend" If you haven't seen it, Will Smith plays the "last" guy on earth after a man-made virus hits the earth. He's got his dog with him as his only companion. Anyone that knows me knows that I'm a dog lover through and through. And while watching "I Am Legend" I found myself caring more about the german shepherd than I cared about Will Smith. The dog ran into a dark warehouse and all I could think about was how heartbreaking it would be when (not if) the dog got hurt or died. The obvious next thought was about my dogs.

And when it's late at night, I can't help but look over at my sleeping daughter & wife and what they mean to me. This little one is so new to this world, but has already become such a huge part of our lives. And Radha is now, not just my wife, but a wonderful mother who does everything in her power to ensure for Sophia's well being. It's only in those moments that I realize things will never be the same again.

Nor do I want them to be.

Wake Up!

Sophia is now 12 days old and man have the hours and days flown by. Each day comes to an end before we even realize it. The biggest thing to note is the sleep (and lack there of)

Not surprisingly, we're getting a lot less sleep than we used to. Apparently I look a LOT more tired than I feel, but given that I'm only sleeping about 4 hours a night, I'm sure this will catch up with me soon. I'm not a daytime napper, so I haven't been able to take time out during the day and just go to sleep. I've had lots of opportunity to do that since we have lots of help at home, but when I've tried to nap, I just lay there wondering when I'll finally fall asleep.

So for now, I try to get other things done and help out Radha as much as possible. There have been several occasions though where I'll just fall asleep while sitting in bed.

But, like I said, it's nothing unexpected.

The somewhat unexpected part has been just how much this little one LOVES to sleep! We've got 2 dogs, grandmothers blending and cooking away, gardeners with lawnmowers, Laker games, etc, etc...you name it, and this girl just seems to sleep right through it all. We've been trying to get her on a more manageable sleep pattern where she's up more in the day time rather than night time, but we can't seem to wake her up! We've taken off her socks, put wet washcloths on her feet, tickled her (all recommended by our pediatrician, BTW), but when this girl wants to sleep, there's nothing getting in the way of her and a few ZZZZ's

Oh well, I guess it's just a small thing in the grand scheme of things. It's still a wonder and joy to be a father and I'm just taking it all in and trying to lock each moment away in a corner of my brain.

Memories

I was going to start this post talking about "firsts" that I'll always remember...I fed my daughter for the first time yesterday...I noticed she has brownish eyes like her mother...I watched as two grandmothers played with their little bundle of joy...we took our sweetheart out for her first stroller ride to the doctor. Not surprisingly, most of these moments would just pass by if we didn't pause to cherish them.
And pausing is what allowed me to realize that these are all memories. Things are moving so quickly, it's hard to comprehend that just 5 mornings ago I wasn't a father. But it's just as crazy to think that we've had 5 days of "firsts" and 5 days of memories made.

I already feel like a pro at diaper changing, swaddling, and rocking the baby to sleep. And as I stop to think about it, I just find it amazing that we've stepped into this role and everyday in our lives will be changed in little ways and big ways.

Junior & Buddy & Baby make 3

One of the common questions we've been getting now that the baby's home is how we're handling the dogs. Most people don't have two golden retrievers at home to welcome home baby so it's not surprising. And considering most Indians don't have dogs period, Radha and I have been expecting questions on this matter.

Safe to say, it's been pretty much what we thought it would be. Our guys have been alternately curious or disinterested or even a bit depressed.

Before we brought the baby home, I actually brought her first hat home for the dogs to smell. They immediately smelled something new and sniffed down the hat as well as my jeans.

When we brought the baby home, I think getting a feel for the smell in advance helped since they didn't go crazy like they sometimes do when we've been away from the house for more than a day. Since then, the guys have tended to come over to see what's going on with the baby, but then walk away after getting a couple of sniffs. When she's sleeping in the bassinet, they immediately come over and get a couple of sniffs but then they go chill out in their usual spots.

The only wierd thing happened this morning when Buddy (the younger, more playful dog) came into the room when the baby was crying like mad as we changed her clothes. All of a sudden Buddy gave a really concerned whine/growl which is something he usually only does when he sees something he wants to check out more closely (like a squirrel or bird). And that was it. Back to normal.

Not to say we're unconcerned. Even the best trained dogs can do things unexpectedly and wreak havoc. So we're watching them closely and making sure they still get their usual dose of love and know that they're still very much a part of our family.

Cluster F*ing

One of the first things I realized as we traversed down the journey towards parenthood is that the details of reality are quite different than the generalities I've heard.

An example during pregnancy is the amount that the baby moves while inside mommy's tummy. I thought it would be some movement which could be seen, but our baby was like an alien! After about the 6th month, we could make out specific body parts as the baby was moving inside mommy. Crazy!

So what does this have to do with Cluster F*ing?

Well, I'm talking about Cluster Feeding. Even when we took baby care classes, we never heard about this, and man, is it exhausting! They say that a newborn will need to eat very frequently and new parents just can't get enough rest. That is definitely true, but we never knew about what the nurses call cluster feeding where the baby just needs to eat constantly for hours on end. We're talking about non-stop suckling...take the baby away from her food and she immediately starts crying.

After a while, we got a bit worried since nothing seemed to console this child. But after the nurse explained this all to us, we just had to deal with it despite the fact that both of us were falling asleep while sitting on the bed watching the baby feed.

Anyways, we're back home today and getting settled into the lives of new parents. The hours are just a blur right now, but every moment that we get to spend with our child makes up for any of the stress and exhaustion.